Who's Who

There's been a lot of activity in the Burns Campaign lately, and it can be easy to lose track of who the major players are. Here's a consolidated list of everyone who's anyone, all on one convenient page! This list will be kept up-to-date as new developments develop.

The Dynamic Duo

	Presidential Candidate - Paul Burns The man himself. Official biography
	Running-Mate - Jessica Alba Putting the J in PB&J. Official announcement

The Cabinet

	Secretary of Defense - Avery Brooks Known for being Defiant. Official announcement
	Secretary of Homeland Security (renamed "Secretary of Roundhouse Kicking Terrorists in the Face") - Chuck Norris Subject of many jokes, object of none. Official announcement
	Secretary of F***ing Awesome - Patrick Stewart Because he is. Official announcement

Other Roles

	Chief Justice of the Supreme Court - Samuel L. Jackson Doesn't need Tom Cruise to write his Minority Report. Official announcement
	Presidential Slapper - Wonder Woman Who's afraid of Kryptonite? Official announcement
	National Security Advisor - Nemo Declaw this. Official announcement
	Scapegoat - Jeff Fetters. Get off me. Official announcement

The Opposition

	Democratic candidate - Barack Obama I'm a regular guy, just like you. Haha! No, but seriously, I have millions of dollars. Campaign home
	Democratic candidate - Hillary Clinton Two Bushes but only one Clinton? Come now. Campaign home [Update: pwned.]
	Republican candidate - John McCain Hey, you guys pretty much liked Dubya, right? Okay cool. Campaign home
	Unholy Living Shrine to Malevolence - Cthulhu Crrgggghrrr. Campaign home

Axis of Evil

	The Borg. All in all, you're just another brick in the Cube. Official announcement
	The Cylons. Old-school, yo. Official announcement
	The Sith. Sith happens. Official announcement

Last But Not Least

Campaign Manager - Brian Buckley Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain.