Friday, April 18, 2008

I believe the spelling you're looking for is "phat"

Every President has a legacy.

I can prove it! Hit the link below, and listen to the MP3 (the one that says "The Presidents"):

Click ye here

Pretty sweet, no? And it really makes you think about your place in history. I mean, our 27th President - a man who was strongly anti-war but understood the perils of pacifism, a man who politically outmaneuvered Theodore Roosevelt, a man who sacrificed his life's ambition in order to serve people who were not even his countrymen, a man who founded a dynasty, a man who personally (and successfully) negotiated with the Vicar of Christ - had his Presidential term summarized as follows:

"Taft was big and fat and had a mustache."

Meanwhile his predecessor, who actually thought that killing thousands of Filipinos was good for the Philippines, has his face on Mount Rushmore. It's a fine line, apparently.

Paul Burns, of course, has his own legacy to consider. But if good Presidenting can't guarantee a good legacy, what can? Well, if history is any judge, you need to get into a war - and you need to win it. Washington, Lincoln, Wilson, FDR, Truman - these are the guys you hear about. You don't so much have to be good (though it doesn't hurt) - you have to make America look good.

So, to summarize: find a comparatively weak and unpopular nation, come up with a just cause, go to war, take 'em out = Good Legacy.

Funny how it always comes back to nuking France.

Be sure to tune in on Monday, when Paul Burns will discuss ailurophagy!


William Howard Taft said...

Okay okay okay - yes I was a cool President and all. But let's not lose sight of the fact that I did have a really awesome mustache!

Christine said...

Hi, I'm voting for you as my president. Forever. You need a mascot! or a presidential symbol. If there is one I do not yet know of, it needs to be displayed more!

Brian Buckley said...

Hm, no official symbol or mascot yet... we will have to give it some thought!