Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Putting their money where their mouth is

Paul Burns would like to commend the city of Chicago. They exemplify that perfect combination of ingenuity, audacity, and plain old-fashioned hard work that has made America great. And their latest project exemplifies these noble qualities in full.

What project is that, you ask?

The Chicago Spire:

The Spire is planned to be longer - er, taller - than any building in the world currently standing. The structure will be fully erected in 2011 and should offer all visitors a pleasurable entry point to the Windy City. Residents of the building should find great happiness entering and exiting the building day after day, year after year, long after their relationships with others (say, their boyfriends) have turned sour.

A design like this is hard to come by, but the textured, ridged, spiraling shape is sure to inspire gasps of excitement from those experiencing it for the first time. Some will no doubt want to make the trip from base to tip and back again many times, in order to fully grasp the structure's magnificence. And while a newcomer may at first be overwhelmed by their initial insertion into the building, long-time residents will confirm that the excursion's climax doesn't come until the very end.

Size doesn't matter, though, which is why we Americans aren't too concerned with the United Arab Emirates' latest project: the Burj Dubai.

Sure, it's going to be 600 feet taller than Chicago's tower. But look at it. Ours is just... well...

Ours is gentler.

Be sure to tune in tomorrow, when Paul Burns will publish his first-ever interview!


Sigmund Freud said...

Didn't I have a dream about this once?

Captain Nemo said...

I don't get it. Looks kind of like a modernist's vision of a scratching post. But then again, I am a cat. I like Dubai's tower better. Reminds me of a kitty tower and I like those better.