Clearly, the eighth time is not a charm

What keeps you people reading these sonnet things, anyway? My current theory: masochism.

Current Events Sonnet #8 in D Minor

In Iowa now, the water's gotten high,
Tim Russert's gone; he will be greatly missed;
Taiwan and China say it's cool to fly,
You will not like Bruce Banner when he's pissed.
Guantanamo gets basic human rights -
Which upsets Bush, but then, he isn't here;
The Taliban puts a prison in their sights,
For NASA, gamma rays will soon appear.
The Church of Scientology is pwned,
Norwegians give the thumbs-up to the gays,
Budweiser shortly may be foreign-owned,
"I'm sorry" comes in interesting ways.
In Arnold's state, the fires are spreading quick;
Impeachment for the President won't stick.

Be sure to tune in again tomorrow, when we - the Paul Burns campaign - will reveal the actual cause of global warming!