About time we cleared that up

This is it, people - moment of truth. In an unprecedented move, Paul Burns is going to reveal the very Meaning of Life Itself.

Now, you probably think he's going to pull some kind of a cheap cop-out, right? An easy answer? Something like "42," or a dictionary definition, or a weak Monty Python reference. Or maybe you figured we would say something lame like "Everyone finds his own meaning," or "Do unto others," or "Just be good people." Or we could have just said that there is no answer, or claimed that your purpose is to vote for Paul Burns, or just shown you a hot picture of his running-mate.

Yes, we could have done any of those things. But you know what? You deserve better. This nation...deserves better. And tonight, we are going to find out for real.

And we're going to look into our hearts, where we knew the answer lay all along.

Children of the world, be at peace. For the meaning of life...is kittens.

Have a great weekend, and be sure to tune in Monday, when (as always) we will wrap up the week's news...sonnet style!