Calling this "poetry" borders on false advertising

And we're back, once again, to abuse you in our usual fashion:

Current Events Sonnet #5 in D Minor

We had a day for soldiers Heaven tends
Now Clinton wishes someone else would die
Our missile plan has won no Russian friends
In South America, the hopes are high.
Tornadoes caused some damage this past week,
And famed director Pollack's also died,
But not all of the latest news is bleak;
Our very own J. Alba is a bride!
Now Burma's letting more aid workers in
As Indy hopes the fourth time is a charm
The Phoenix lander's made of epic win
We watched a giant star that bought the farm.
To those who say there's nothing on TV,
Nintendo says, "Hey, don't forget the Wii!"

If, after reading our latest sonnet, you're masochistic enough to want still more blog content...then be sure to tune in again tomorrow, when the Burns campaign will start talking BIG!