It's all about the "the"

Quick question: what do the Ohio State University, Donald Trump, and Ukraine have in common?

Answer: they all understand the power of the definite article.

Donald Trump is one of the most successful businessmen in the world. They call him "the Donald."

OSU is the biggest university in the United States, and any Buckeye will tell you it's "the Ohio State University."

Ukraine used to be the Ukraine, back when it was part of a world superpower. But that superpower status is gone now...and so is the "the."

What can we learn from all this?

Simple. If you're going to get anything done these days, you need a little help from the English language to make it happen.

Henceforth, Paul Burns will be referred to as The Paul Burns.

This will remain in effect until it starts to get annoying. I estimate approximately six hours.

Be sure to tune in again tomorrow, when we'll have, like, a funny picture of Obama or something.